The fact of not being in a relationship doesn’t mean to give up a sex life. In addition to everything that can be explored alone or accompanied in masturbation, a cool alternative to have some pleasure is casual sex. Sex can be incredible even if there’s no relationship in history. And more: know when it’s best to AVOID casual sex.
As the name implies, casual sex is the one made without commitment, with no need for bonds. It could be with a friend or with a person you’ve just met and had some chemistry. It may even be with the same person for a period, provided there’s responsibility and the awareness of both sides that the purpose of these encounters is to have pleasure and no more than that.
Casual sex is great for women who are well with themselves, who understand their physical and sexual needs, and therefore resolve to take action to satisfy themselves. It has everything to do with that particular moment when they’re open-minded to meet new people, new forms of pleasure, without having to get emotionally involved. Of course, it can be for a certain period, as long as both parties are aware that there’s no commitment.
Of course, it’s often better to resolve a desire through masturbation. Thus, avoiding being with a man with whom you don’t have much intimacy and having a frustrating experience. At the same time, there are super nice people, fun and deliciously willing to give and receive pleasure.
In the case of women, society is still burdened by the myth of modest woman, increasingly evident with the wave of conservatism that seems to devastate society.
But don’t be afraid. If casual sex is what you want, casual sex is what you’ll get. I'll give you some tips on how to prepare yourself and get to that kind of relationship.
Say goodbye to expectations
Put it on your head that this is a fun time. If you ever leave the house thinking about living a romance, this will never work out. Well, it may even be that things work out, but then you run the risk of suffering from not receiving the expected message from the guy the next day.
Everything will flow better if you keep in mind that the only thing that matters is that you enjoy yourself and have a lot of pleasure, without the obligations of the next day. Your mind has to be free from all this.
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Few or no questions
Another tip is to not ask too many questions, like asking if he wants to meet you the next day or ask for his number all the time. If he gives you his number, don’t call or send loving messages. All this do is suffocate and everything ceases to be a casual.
Be sure to be selective
Well, you want good and casual sex, but it doesn’t have to be mechanical. That is, choose someone with whom you’ll have a good time, have at least a good conversation and make you laugh.
Wanting casual sex doesn’t mean that you want to have sex with just any man. It means just that you’re looking for something without commitment. Learn to select the correct person and only do what you want, because when talking about sex, pleasure should always be mutual.
As much as the bid is just pleasure, you’ll be in close contact with that person for a few hours. So it better be somebody nice and with whom you have at least something in common, to get a little laugh.
If there’s a thing that’s good about casual sex is that you don’t have to see the person anymore, so give yourself fully, body and soul, without any kind of shame, because only then you’ll enjoy it 100%. Get rid of the moral weight and any other thoughts.
Remember: sex is a body activity, but your mind is fundamental in this process. So, let your imagination run wild!
It’s very important for the woman to learn to fill her mind with sexual fantasies. This is what will stimulate her to look for more and more things related to sex. She can read erotic stories, watch movies with that theme, with more sensual scenes, talk more about it. And use all this later in her favor.
Remember to always use a condom, whether in a casual sex with a friend, or with the cool person you just met at a relationship site. A condom is essential to prevent sexually transmitted infections, and helps prevent unwanted pregnancy. It seems to be something obvious, but it’s always good to reinforce this, especially in the casual context.
Forget fetishes and erotic toys
If you have a fetish or sexual fantasy it’s best to leave this aside when having casual sex. To propose the use of erotic toys and expose different sexual desires, the couple needs to be more intimate.
Of course, if there’s a previously open conversation and an opening to this experience, it’s possible to use all sorts of erotic toys. Dialogue and clear and sincere speech about the act will ensure that everything goes well and that no one is taken by surprise.
Since casual sex is defined for both parties, the communication turns out to be more direct and easier, so ask everything you want.
As casual sex has the proposal of full pleasure for both parties, communication becomes much more direct. Not that in a dating or a marriage this doesn’t happen, but in a purely sexual encounter, it’s much easier to speak with all the letters if you want oral sex, anal sex, masturbation or whatever, because there’s the concern of to come across a question that can cause some kind of problem the next day.
Make sure that you’re tuned for a “one-night stand”. Misinterpretations can lead to confusion and even discomfort, and this is not what is intended.
For casual sex to be a success, both parties need to have understood very well that they’re there to get laid and that’s it. If the other person isn’t in the same page and starts trying to extend the bond, the aftertaste of the date won’t be nice for you.
Before you actually go all the way, make it clear that what you’re looking for in this situation is pleasure, and that's all.
Use technology in your favor
Online dating and dating services exist to facilitate casual sex as well. A lot can be talked about in advance and the date can be scheduled for the weekend or even earlier in the week. Without the need to choose the partner personally in a club and run the risk of he ending up being disrespectful or not be synchronized with your mindset.
Follow all the safety recommendations I've mentioned here a few times when scheduling your date. To reinforce safety, schedule the datein a public place for a physical conversation. Maybe a coffee or lunch break from your work.
This may seem slow by current standards, but that personal encounter may reinforce the attraction, further develop the subject of casual sex with the guy, only by looking directly at him and testing his intuition based on what he responds and his overall posture.
Don’t be shy
Each person is different and has particular preferences. The intimate atmosphere is great for trying out new practices and finding out which parts of your partner's body feels hornier. For this, the dialogue also helps to lose the shyness.
Every woman is different. And the man is not obliged to know about all women. How about you propose different ideas to escape from that traditional missionary position?
You can work this over, wear a lingerie, take a shower together. Anyway, you have to use your creativity.
Avoid previous passion for you partner
Sometimes there’s that friend for whom you have a thing for ages and even think of... Well, think again! Don’t do it! It's usually a bad idea, even because it will inevitably and unconsciously create false hopes and expectations. All consensual intercourse involves the release of oxytocin, the “bonding hormone'”, so if there’s already a previous passion, things will get worse.
It’s well surpassed the belief that the woman goes to sex to get romance, while the man engages a romance to get sex. Casual sex: the name itself says it’s casual. The main objective is to fully enjoy the moment, without speculation or demands on the future. Anyone who is alreay in love with the other person really wants to "put" sex in the picture, linking it to love and romance. Of course, sometimes things get out of control and one or the other ends up getting involved and wanting more. However, it’s up to each one to take care of themselves and their own feelings. Anyone who chooses casual sex has to strip their expectations of each other so they don’t get hurt.
Respect and limits
There is a false idea that the informality of the situation makes people wild and ready to go to bed. Honest mistake. The body remains a private property and each one must respect the principles, limits and wants of the other. Casual sex is a choice, which means that each one chooses what to do with desire. Agreeing to have sex straight away doesn’t mean being open to anything.
Once, I stopped in the middle because the partner kept insisting that I should accept anal sex. I got dressed and left. Thankfully, it was the only disrespectful male chauvinist I've ever met so far.
When it’s NOT good to go for casual sex
Everything’s cool, right? But know that there are situations where you'd better avoid casual sex.
If the woman is in a phase of questioning about her affective life, upset about being alone while the friends are all getting married, casual sex is a bad idea. The risk of you wanting to turn any frog into a prince is too great, which will surely hurt you there at the end.
Also, as said before, never think of casual sex with a person with whom you have a special affective appreciation. As practical as sex is, all consensual intercourse involves the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone. If the woman already has a little passion, this will increase and create false hopes.
If you're the type that expects phone calls and flowers the next day, enjoy long-term attention and want sex to be always part of something bigger, casual sex is definitely not for you. It’s better to expect to meet a nice person who can meet all your expectations. And he'll show up, be sure of it!
When boundaries are clear and expectations aligned, engaging in casual sex is a great way to enjoy and enhance sexuality. It’s a well-defined agreement and, therefore, there’s no room for freaking out or being guilty. The problem is that countless times what is believed to be an authentic desire, is not! One thing is done and another is expected. That’s why the person needs to know herself well, to understand deeply what she wants, not to blame the other for a choice that she alone has made. We’re responsible not only for our decisions, but also for what we feel.