It’s a lesson to be sure that none of us is born as a "bomb of sex appeal". It’s just a matter of exercising self-confidence and see the potential for learning from our experiences so that we can evolve in the art of seduction.
Self-confidence refers to security at the moment, concerning your own dignity, capacity and power, regardless of the situation in which you find yourself. Someone who is self-confident has a strong sense of conviction and self-assurance. He/she exudes serenity, tranquility and is self-conscious.
Self-confidence is often associated with the possession of certain knowledge, skills or abilities, innate or acquired. While being able to possess a particular fitness in a given area is an important factor in helping to boost your self-esteem, it’s not a single requirement for self-confidence. Even someone who has few skills and/or aptitudes in anything, can still be self-confident. I may not know something, but feel confident to learn it. Self-confidence parallels intentionality in the face of something, and a probabilistic perspective of being able to find a way to succeed.
Let's imagine that you have a project where you are in charge of performing and coordinating. Let's say you lack self-confidence, and you predict you won’t be able to live up to the expectations. What do you think will happen next? Most likely, this lack of self-belief will influence the thoughts and actions you will have, both at the conscious and subconscious levels. When you are constantly thinking about a negative result, this leads you to focus your attentional focus outside the process zone needed to achieve a desirable outcome. This ends up leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, when an undesirable result happens, because you thought this would happen. It happens exactly because you acted according to what you anticipated to happen (not being able to do something successfully). In this way your negative belief in yourself is strengthened and you will continue to have a low self-confidence.
On the other hand, if you are a self-confident person, try putting yourself in exactly the same scenario. What do you think will happen? The possibilities will certainly be much more positive and favorable. When you have a high certainty of impending success, you will do all that is necessary for that to happen. If you don’t have the skills, you will find a way to acquire them. If you don’t have the knowledge, you will learn it. If something completely unprecedented happens by putting it to the test, somehow your confidence will trigger the parts of your brain that will allow you to find a solution. It will trigger a set of neural networks specialized in finding solutions to the problems. It’s like a mental inclination (tendency) for success, which later reinforces your self-esteem and self-confidence, leading to more successes . Even if you have started from the same point as others, if you have a well-developed self-confidence, you will allow it to reach far beyond anyone who doesn’t.
Become a self-confident person
Whenever you see any circumstance in which you don’t feel self-confident, ask yourself: Why am I not feeling self-confident? Where does this uncertainty come from? What am I associating with my self-esteem?
When you become aware of what you associate with your personal worth, you will begin to diminish and destroy the terrible limiting belief that you can only feel dignified or confident about certain prerequisites. When you do this, you will find yourself filled with a sense of self-worth that will always be present, regardless of what happens. You will realize that this kind of self-esteem will be what will lead you to your desired results, and allow you to be what you want to become.
While practicing self-confidence, try to focus on some constant goals. For example, if you follow the concept of the alpha woman that I will soon describe, along with its characteristics, you will see that it isn’t just something abstract.
What makes some women more confident and attractive than others? It has nothing to do with appearance, it’s a matter of attitude! Be an alpha woman!
Have you ever wondered how much an "alpha woman" can be seductive? Probably not, because you must still be wondering, "What the hell is an alpha woman?"
Well... given that "alpha" is the nomenclature we use to identify the most important individual within a group (in the animal kingdom, they have the preference to eat and mate), the term "alpha male" was created to refer to the powerful, courageous man with a competitive, focused and leadership attitude. Due to all these qualities, alphas are also generally described as charismatic and conquering beings.
"And so what?" You ask me.
Well, the term alpha woman would be a derivation to designate women who have similar characteristics.
An alpha woman has her head in place, is independent and happy. The kind that attracts the attention of everyone in a group. Working your self-esteem is essential to becoming an alpha, but at the time of seduction, all you need is to master body language to deliver all the clues that you are a person who feels good and safe in your own skin.
Being an alpha woman means being inspirational, imposing and so many other things. Alpha women behave differently, quite differently from other people who don’t have this personality type.
The behavior of the alpha woman expresses her strong character, power, ambition and propensity to success and survival. Alpha characteristics are probably genetically acquired. We began using the term alpha first with groups of animals, such as wolf packs. The alpha wolf, male or female, is the leader of the pack. If you are an alpha woman, you can be proud of that.
Some characteristics that an alpha woman usually has:
- She respects necessary rules and conducts with education, but knows how to impose her thinking, her opinions and her wishes. She fights for what she thinks is right and doesn’t accept disrespect;
- She can express herself very well, however she is, because she is confident. Precisely because she is very confident and trustworthy, the alpha woman often leads other people. Be it at work, family, or other situations, her strong personality imposes respect and leadership;
- She also often inspires other people, after all, she’s always very strong and doesn’t despair with moments of adversity – on the contrary, the alpha woman is that person who will calm others and will think of viable alternatives to solve the problem;
- The alpha woman knows how to be realistic and rational at the same time that she dreams high to continue growing and thriving in life. She is balanced, intelligent and insightful. She knows that the only person who needs to compete her is herself, precisely so that her growth is continuous;
- She is a good friend and a great companion. She helps the people she loves in every way she can and tries as much as she can to show the value each one has for her and for the world;
- Despite of helping others and expressing their love, the alpha woman knows how to be happy alone and isn’t afraid of not being in love relationships, for example. She understands that relationships complement happiness, but they can’t be the only reason for someone's smile;
- The alpha woman is not afraid to fall, because she knows that each fall is an apprenticeship for her to get up stronger, more alert and wiser. So much so that she isn’t afraid of taking risks;
- The alpha woman stands out before her friends and, why not say it, before society. She exercises leadership, whether professional or in any other field of life. She’s inspiring and wins challenges, respect and respects others, is tolerant and sensitive, rational, doesn’t stop being who she is for nobody, learns from the past, lives in the present, but focuses on the future.
Even when you still don’t feel confident enough to take some of these attitudes, let yourself be carried away by what you can do and allow your mental state to evolve as your confidence increases. To exude this personal magnetism and to become an alpha woman, it’s enough that you are certain of what you are doing at the time of conquest. Then bet on the combination below and be ready for success:
Keep your posture
Keep the pose with a good posture: that way you’ll show confidence and health. An incorrect posture passes the image of someone who is older, insecure or sick. Preserve the naturalness of your walk. The idea is to keep the spine erect, shoulders open and belly shrunken to show a more attractive silhouette, but avoid body stiffness – fleeing from looking like a wax doll.
Position yourself with confidence
Keep feet parallel, maintaining an opening the same distance as your shoulders. This is a comfortable position, shows that you feel secure and helps you maintain your posture. Crossing your legs a lot and staying in similar positions are actions associated with people who are uncomfortable or reticent, full of doubts.
Take it easy
The alpha woman is sensible, calm and cooperative. Confident, but not to the point of becoming too convinced. When dealing with more difficult situations, she remains cool and takes rational actions. So you never get involved in fights. Even when someone causes it. Count to ten, take a deep breath and concentrate on something else to avoid confusion. Exercise this side of yours which, over time, makes it easier to control different moods.
Make eye contact with the person and let him realize how confident you are. The exchange of looks during the conversation also allows you to create a connection with the other, so sustain your gaze. This isn’t the time to feel embarrassed when your eyes locked with someone else’s – the escape of looking makes you appear insecure or in the defensive.
When the idea is to attract the attention of a man at a party, flirt with the eyes. Look for his gaze in a few moments (not looking obsessed like a madwoman, of course), until you have an answer. When he looks at you, hold the eye contact for about three seconds while letting a corner-of-mouth smile and then turn to what you were doing before. Do this a few times during the night and, if you don’t score, just move on!
Use the space around you
Occupy the spaces around you. Begin by putting your bag in the chair, hang your jacket somewhere else (not in another chair, because that would seem like a lack of education, preferably in a coat rack), circle the environment, greet and talk to everyone. What is behind these actions is to "mark your territory", even for the mere idea of getting noticed and displaying your presence.
An alpha woman is a fulfilled person. She spends more time enjoying her achievements and striving to achieve in life and what will make her happy than complaining about her losses and weaknesses. The alpha woman passes the image of someone determined and well resolved with her issues, just the kind of person who pull others up!
In every opportunity you have, smile! But you genuine smile – not to please, because people notice when you are being false to them. For the rest of the time, keep a calm countenance (relaxed eyebrows, lids and mouth), a light smile (the one slightly arched in the corners of the mouth) and attentive eyes on the person with whom you talk. That way, you will make him feel welcome, leading him to admire your person and be comfortable in your presence.
Still not convinced? So I’ll throw my last card and enumerate the qualities that exist in that type of woman. Come on: she is the kind of person who knows her value and knows that magnetism goes far beyond looking good. As a born leader, she knows what she wants and outlines plans to get there. She lives surrounded by people who respect and admire her, but she has no fear of showing her feelings for others as well.
She recognizes her own value and doesn’t diminish people. Her brain is free from any kind of prejudice and retrograde thinking – those backward mentalities that just pull people back. Her attitude intrigues most men, however, intimidates those with whom it isn’t worth relating.
Being seductive is having clear and firm body and verbal language. The proposal is that you remain natural in everything you do, so if you choose to adopt these tips, never stop being who you are. In practice, seek the logic behind these behaviors and flex the "rules" so that you have attitudes that are consistent with your nature. Good luck!