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Oxente Regina
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February 25, 2018

Love and Romance

Overcoming the end of a relationship

It’s not impossible to overcome an end of a relationship. It's difficult, but not impossible. You need to find your inner strength that has been sleeping within you for far too long, accept life as it is, enjoy every moment of freedom, learn to really love and accept yourself. This way, your next boyfriend – and this time, with luck, your true soul mate – will come running toward you.
At least once in a lifetime all the people have had their hearts broken. And if you have not experienced it, you're probably still going to. Life is like this: a box of surprises. No matter how much you believe in "happily ever after," you make the most of yourself or even try to hold the person you love, the truth is that you have no control over anything, much less about the feelings of someone else. And when love is over or things between you two are not the same or you just become incompatible with each other, your lover can turn your back on you to never come back and leave a throbbing wound right in your heart.
It's not easy for anyone to get dumped. Being left behind without even having the opportunity to argue and pondering the decision is really very difficult as there simply is no dialogue between the couple. You have to accept the decision of the other, because if he doesn’t want to continue the relationship, there’s not much you can do about it.
But the problem is that when the other doesn’t want anything anymore, you cry, you fall apart in a thousand pieces, and the overcoming of the end of the relationship seems more distant to be achieved than a pot of gold coins at the end of the rainbow.
Yes, the pain is not easy to deal with, but nothing in life is easy, so why should love be different? Maybe that's what makes love so intense and wanted by people. The reality is that everyone has a bit of masochism within them, and however complicated it may be at first, it’s possible to overcome and reconstitute a broken heart and, at the same time, take advantage of that experience to grow as a human being and mature further.
So, get a hold of yourself! Know that everything is possible, including overcoming the end of a relationship. Take a deep breath and follow these steps to overcome it and you should get in the way back to your normal life quickly.

Cry yourself out

If you’re too sentimental and can’t control your crying, fine, go to a quiet corner where you can be alone and cry. Cry everything you need without saving tears. Dramatize whatever you need, spend a whole day in bed, not wanting to do anything. If necessary, spend a clear night thinking (and suffering).
Lean on romance movies, depressive songs and indulge with friends. But since everything has its time, know that this period should last as little as possible. Usually this phase is just after the relationship ending and lasts on average a week, a little less or a little more, depending on the person. If this phase is going on for too long, begin to realize that this won’t work, your friends will probably walk away or have difficulty coping with your crises. Everyone has passed through life, but getting out of the pit is up to you. You don’t have to act that way to show that you are suffering.
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Take time for yourself

The first thing to do when having a broken heart is to turn to yourself. Maybe when you were together you cared too much about the other and may have forgot a little about yourself.
So remember that caring for and paying attention to yourself is very important. Value yourself more, something you may not have done during the relationship. Try to do everything that you like best and that you may not even remember, because you only had eyes and time for the other person. Read a book, sing, listen to music, surf, cook, go diving, watch movies, do anything related to leisure that gives you pleasure. You should also reestablish contact with your friends and surround yourself with people who are good for you.

Stay blind and deaf

Close your eyes and ears to all your ex-boyfriend's information. If someone comes to tell you something about him, what he's doing, who he's dating, dispense that kind of information, say politely that you have no interest in knowing about him. Someone being inconvenient to that point is probably not your friend.
This tip is easier, because even though you're dying to hear from him, you're not going to want to show any weakness, right? But it's when you're alone, in the comfort of your home, with nothing to do, that it’s the worst. Be sure not to pry into his social networks. The chances of you finding something you don’t want to see is 99%. So, if you need to block or delete him from your contacts, do it so you don’t take any risks.

Social networks

This task may be one of the most difficult after a broken heart, especially for curious women. But as long as you don’t block or exclude your ex from social networks, you will continue, again and again, to use it to know things about him, to know who he’s dating, what he’s doing, etc. This is pure torture, stop self-flagellation and being martyr for things that don’t appeal to you. Build forces from the core and exclude him from your Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter and any other account that can drive you to unwanted discovery and communication.

Get away from the family

I’m not talking about getting away from your family. You can lean on them whenever you need them. The family we refer to is that of your ex-boyfriend, who with the coexistence also ends up being his in a certain way. There are ex-girlfriends who have become like daughters of their boyfriend's family, especially when the parents always wanted a daughter.
As much as you like and are attached to them, move away. They will understand because it won’t be healthy for you to be part of that circle and participate in things you don’t like or see things you don’t want. Don’t let them also intervene in the decision. There are lots of parents who like to meddle out there and that choice should only concern you, especially after being dumped.

Start by doing something for yourself

All relationships involve two people - well, three or maybe even four if your ex betrayed you - but rarely you can find a decent man who shares your interests and reads your mind, satisfies all your desires, and really offers you every care and attention you deserve. So it's time to start reliving your life. Go to the movies, to the club he always hated, to spend several nights alone with your friends and discover the passions that you were missing.
Complete the puzzle of your life by doing the things you love. Spoil yourself whenever you have the chance and buy something nice for you. Love yourself and forget to be his "perfect woman" by cooking his meals and washing his clothes. Now you are the center of your world!

Change the air

If moving to a new city is very radical for you, since you have a home and a permanent job in the city where you live, that's fine, but know that changing airs, even for a while, is very important. If you have dated for too long, staying in the same city can bring bad memories, because simply EVERYTHING will remind you of him.
Every place you visited with him will be terrible for you, even a bakery, a bar, etc. So, if you can schedule a trip alone (perfect for a moment of reflection) or with some friends to a place that you never been visited with him, that would be great.

Do some cleaning

For you to heal completely and rebuild your broken heart, you need not only to free your mind, but also practice detachment. To do this, put an end to everything you have about him and that remind you of him. Throw away cards, gifts, photographs and any kind of memory that makes you feel bad.
Many people don’t do this, as it is as if you are erasing the person from your life, passing an eraser on everything you have lived, but not quite. Eliminating objects and material things can ease the pain and momentarily make you forget the pain he caused you. But do it only if you really won’t regret it later.
As much as you feel bad for throwing all the memories away from you, that's the best thing you can do after being dumped. Staying clinging to the past won’t help you overcome anything, and as much as you put everything in a box and pretend you forgot where it is. This attitude is quite comfortable, but in a moment of nostalgia you will appeal to these memories and everything that you achieved in your recovery will be lost in a snap of fingers.
In the time of anger people can act on impulse and maybe these memories will be interesting in the future when you want to reminisce about your past loves and about everything you've gone through to become the human being and the mature woman you are today. So think very well before doing this.

Quality of life

The worst mistake you can commit when you are heartbroken is to sink into depression and start ruining your well-being by becoming a sedentary person and eating unhealthy foods that bring you comfort like chocolate, ice cream, snacks or pasta in excess. Eating can really be a remedy, but it's just a momentary pleasure and will only make you more depressed later, in addition to reducing your self-esteem. If you notice a persistence in the time of "mourning" to the point of harming your quality of life, seek professional help.

Transpire all your sorrows – put everything out!

Practice some physical activity or some sport that you enjoy. Focus on your body to lose a few pounds or stiffen your muscles. Serotonin released into the brain acts as a natural antidepressant and improves your mood effectively. Balanced nutrition will also promote more well-being.
Nothing prevents you from making an extravagance from time to time, but focus on vegetables, grains and fruits, so that your body feels very well-disposed and full of energy.

Renew your look

Usually when we get dumped, self-esteem tends to decrease, so think about giving yourself a new look. Changing your haircut or coloring it can give you the change you need. In those hours, nothing better than to hear compliments, right?
Buy new clothes (without getting into debt), try new makeup, get into a gym, lose weight, get your whole body in shape. This will make you feel beautiful and also more willing, healthy, with more energy to do your daily activities. Sport or any physical activity is a great escape valve as it distracts the mind and fills your body with adrenaline.

Start seeing other people

You may not agree or you may argue that you find it impossible to consider a new romance right now. But after a few weeks from the end of your relationship, you can buy a new dress, put on some makeup, do your hair and go out. If you go to a nightclub or a quieter bar, you'll probably meet all kinds of new people. You may even find their presence interesting and intriguing, and you will begin to enjoy being the center of attention again.
The ball is in your field now. You are free as a bird and can be as choosy as you want. Don’t fall into the arms of the first guy who walks toward you. Don’t be afraid to meet new people. It can be difficult, but you have to do it.
Follow these steps, or at least some of them - they can make many women happy again, at the very least they can help you deal with the end of your relationship and overcoming your ex more quickly.