Being in love is a very strong feeling that grips people with violence without warning, but since everything that is intense lasts little, the passion soon ends. If what you felt was just passion, it could be that it will end or, perhaps, develops and matures, becoming love. But if you didn’t have the opportunity to be together, passion can die and be forgotten. In long distance relationships, the passion can last longer, since the lack of coexistence causes the flame to remain lit for longer, just as the mystery is preserved.
Am I in love, or is it just a passing desire? Yes, because passion is a desire, and a person can be in love, simultaneously, by more than one person. So how can I be sure of these feelings that cause me so much doubt?
My friends say that I'm different, that I'm weird. What are the most likely signs that I can make sure that I'm really in love, or if it's just a flirt, and nothing more, specially in the internet?
My friend, there are no methods or tests that can state or deny this. However, the signs of a person who is in love, or referring to it, are very interesting and bright. These signs happen suddenly, without warning, without fuss, and when it’s perceived, it may already be too late to deny the passion.
Let's go to the most common signs of passion, remembering that, after a certain age, they may be camouflaged, that is, hidden from others, say, "symptoms”.
Your heart beats faster. You can hear the blood pulsing in your veins. Every time he looks at you, you feel a burst of energy. Are you in love?
You completely change your habits, starting with the time it takes for you to dress up, even if it's just to go to the market to buy groceries. You often looks in the mirror, thinking you could have a more prominent butt, a thinner body. Ah! How about a diet, accompanied by a lot of physical exercises? And there you go, working out, eating less than usual, adding to that diet fruits and vegetables. Goodbye carbohydrates!
As always, the closest people will notice that something different is happening to you. They will ask if you have seen a flying elephant, or a golden bird, and some of them may even be a bit jealous of your momentary and strange happiness, and you will respond naturally: "Me? You think? I changed what?”
But you've changed!
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Ah! Your heart is totally open to everything and everyone. Generally, when you are in love, the person is a bucket of sensitivity. Exaggerated excitement about watching a movie, whatever it is. You cry, you laugh, you feel despair... The feelings are all over your skin. You don’t bother with criticism as before. No! Now, you just let it be... after all, everything is fine, the world is more beautiful, the stars appear even when the sky is covered by thick clouds. The old worries that lingered around your usual thoughts are gone. No other concerns, just being good with yourself, and dreaming... yes, many, and sometimes very spicy dreams, with him, of course! Daydreaming is an excellent clue to finding out if you're in love.
When you’re in love, and you haven’t even noticed it, the woman (men, too) usually has a radical change of mood. You begin to notice yourself when you wake up. The day – even if it’s a rainy day – seems to be more beautiful. Even if you only doze off, you give a good to everything, even to the walls, such is the generosity that rises in your heart. It’s perceptible to the more intimate people around you, after all, who is this woman, so caring, gentle and happy? The passionate person goes back in time, seeming to have returned to infancy, that is, you begin to do things that you only did when you were much younger.
You enter the children's play, mingling with them, messing up everything in front of them, and always with a wide smile on your face.
You sing like a bird... in the bathroom, at school, on the street... Pay attention to this, because it’s a very specific detail of the "happiness of passion".
You catch yourself staring
The eyes matter the most. When you are in love, you involuntarily keep your eyes focused on the object of your affection. Humans are naturally adept to eye contact.
You won’t stop moving
You won’t just look for your beloved visually. You’ll also actively engage to be closer to the person. This explains why flirting often involves curling or pulling hair. When we’re in love, our bodies involuntarily lean toward the beloved. This is a physical manifestation of the brain's desire for emotional intimacy.
When we’re looking for a partner with love in mind, we prefer the relationship to last. That means we have strong feelings of love for just one person. On the other hand, feelings of lust are less about a specific person than for the sex itself. When it comes to lust, the wanting of a relationship can be significantly less.
You won’t stop thinking about him
With high levels of dopamine, people think about their romantic interests on average 85% of the day. This is known as "intrusive thinking". In the early stages of love, most people can’t stop thinking about their loved ones and the other person becomes an obsession. If it occupies less than 40%, it’s not really intense love. The level of obsession is often compared to that of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Decreasing normal brain levels of serotonin causes similar behaviors when someone is in love.
Your love life becomes part of your routine
No matter how much you talk about other subjects, you always seem to go back, at some point, to talk about your relationship with this person. Your friends can’t hear you anymore, and you even try to not think about it all the time, but it's so natural that it's hard to think of a routine without that theme.
You romanticize common events
Leaning on the person you like becomes "I'm touching the love of my life" – even if you condemn yourself for admitting it in such a short time.
The presence of the person motivates you to do anything
When you were single, you couldn’t understand why committed friends would isolate themselves with their partners and you thought they were weak in personality – and in most cases that's the way it is. But now you know that the presence of your crush gives an extra taste to everything, even if you just stay at home or go out for a walk in the park.
Sex seems more "whole"
Because when you have sex, you have the carnal side very well balanced with the emotional side. You trust each other and are open to dialogue about what you enjoy, without taboos. When you reach orgasm, you seem to have all that was lacking in previous relationships, experiencing new frames of pleasure that make this cliché experience an unexpected slice of routine.
The fear of losing the person becomes something haunting
You can even understand that no one belongs to anyone and that perhaps nothing lasts forever, since everything is transformed, but it’s inevitable not to want something so good to end. You worry about the person on the street, alone and unprotected, and the idea of her meeting someone else to live another stage of her life even hurts you.
Understand this: it’s now that matters, one day at a time, and if one day it comes to an end, it’s still better to smile and thank for the opportunity to have happened than to cry for the end.
You feel open and motivated to understand a reality different from yours
As similar as you are, you’ll still find different behaviors and routines. When you like someone, you feel not only curious, but motivated to understand and participate an activity or lifestyle that isn’t natural in your day to day. This makes you more empathetic, tolerant, develop the power of dialogue, and you act less selfishly for whatever human interaction you have.
You feel happier
Of course you’ll have moments of crisis and insecurity – many based on self-generated craving or anxiety – but for 95% of the time you’ll feel more willing to do anything! Your friends and family will comment that you seem more satisfied, happy and good-humored – and make a series of embarrassing jokes.
Having the vision of perfection is very common in this phase of acute passion. If you, when asking yourself how to know if you’re in love, think of a guy, admire many things in him and even the possible defects you see as charm, you are in love, yes.
A good test is to notice your reaction when someone criticize him or highlight a physical defect. In other words, you’ll probably be shocked at the absurd and even angry with the person who commented. If you act like this, it's another demonstration that you're in love, because you just can’t face reality.
People in love can initially underestimate themselves, to exalt the other. You can get that feeling that he's too much for you, that he's more handsome, more successful, more sympathetic, and that you're at a disadvantage, so he'll never be interested in you.
This is stupid, because everyone has their strengths and no one is better than the other, and having self-confidence and self-esteem is the first step for you to win over someone you care about... but the brain is uncontrollable and you think differently.
"Conquer the impossible"
The idea that he’s too much for you, that you don’t deserve him, is also a good answer for those who ask themselves how to know if you’re in love. When something is seen as impossible or forbidden, dopamine is released into the brain, which causes feelings of well-being and euphoria to achieve a certain thing. The attraction tends to increase, as does the eagerness to overcome a certain challenge.
"I want him just for me"
If you have that possessive thought about him, jealousy even though you have nothing serious together, pay attention. You may be very much in love if you feel jealous of his ex-girlfriends, the girls who like his picture on Instagram and things like that. This is not at all healthy and even neurotic, but when in love women develop a sense of ownership, they feel that anxiety about being with the person all the time.
I want to be together forever
If you find yourself thinking about a distant future with him, married, with children, or just old enough together. That's the clearest answer to when you think "how to find out if I'm in love?" That fairy tale idea, in which a woman believes in eternal love, can be born in her heart, no matter how practical, detached and realistic a woman is. Love does this to people and inspires even thoughts that could be impossible.
"I can do everything for him"
Empathy for the beloved is often very strong. You feel like you can face the world to stay with him or to see him well. When the other person suffers, you suffer together, when he’s happy, you share his happiness like no one else.If someone hurts him, then you have to take revenge and always protect him. You may also want to give up things related to your life for him. This is part of the feelings of a woman in love, always thinking about the other before herself.