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Dating Advices

Do you live or just survive?

We already know that we are not alone in our journey and we can’t ignore this fact. We are part of groups and, throughout the time we live, we influence and are influenced in these numerous relationships. It is our choice to be open to the knowledge that this exchange gives us and to look at these relationships as facilitators of our transformation path.
You already know me. I like to travel, I meet and have relationships with people I meet on dating sites and I'm not afraid of new things. But it was not always like this. At one point in my life, I asked myself: Do I live or do I just survive?
Once, while I was working formally, I talked with a friend about the cycle we had established: wake up, go to work, spend the day there, get tired, sleep to wake up early the next day again and so on. We work to pay bills, to buy goods and never to have any money left to save. Not that I or her didn’t have a minimally pleasant life, but why did we do that? I was indignant at how that didn’t seem right. How can we spend most of our lives trying to survive it?
Within this whole story of doing what you love, a lot of people claim that they hate their jobs, or that they don’t do what they like or should be doing. Others say they are lost without knowing what course to take and that they still need to find themselves in an activity, a profession. Nobody hates a job. Nobody hates to work. You just might be hating the dissatisfaction that work has become. And before discussing doing what you love, it pays to reflect on what paradigms motivate our choices.
Today I understand that the fact that I don’t feel good doing a certain jobs doesn’t mean that the activity itself is inadequate or that there is some mistake in the professional journey where, at some point, it deviates from the correct path. The fact of hating a job or living unsatisfied with your working life is deeply linked to our particular concept of what "decent" work is, based on the history of our work experiences. For example, I grew up believing in this: "You have to work to earn money to survive”.
Growing with the concept that it is necessary to work to earn money and to sustain oneself, as if life has no resources besides money to survive, is a mistaken belief. I believe this a lot. Well, you might even be right when you talk about "surviving”. Only not when it comes to living. I like to emphasize this word because I think it is important to distinguish very well "living" from "survival". Surviving is living under a negative condition. Surviving is a regret in living. And "living" is simply enjoying life and everything it provides.

Work and life purpose

Much more than a source of survival, work is a way to feel useful, to collaborate with the construction of the whole, to fulfill our greater purpose in life, which is to share our gifts.
Even if you don’t work with what you love, if you can offer your contribution through your talents, you will be fulfilling your purpose. If you can’t do what you know how to do, what you were born to do – to plan, to execute, to communicate, to heal, to transform, to solve – surely you are not fulfilling your purpose and you will not find fulfillment.
But even unhappy with activities or professional choice, even knowing that they are not fulfilling their purpose, many people are terrified at the thought of resumption of work. The fear of the unknown and the comfort that the comfort zone brings paralyze the human being, even knowing that nothing is definitive and everything can be changed at any moment.
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Find the causes

Find the motives that make you want to change and grab onto them, so you don’t lose focus on the first hurdle. The main factors that make a person want to change professionally are: salary dissatisfaction, lack of identification with the activities performed, lack of recognition, difficulty in relating, lack of purpose, perfectionism, stress and lack of perspective. When you recognize the causes that lead to change, it becomes easier to remain firm in your decision.


It is important to know what your values, abilities and talents are, as well as your limitations and difficulties. This way, you will be able to direct your choices according to your reality. Realize how you can donate your talents and how your knowledge and skills can be harnessed in the new profession. Be confident, it is impossible to accomplish anything if you don’t feel capable. You have certainly had many achievements in your life, remember them and have full conviction of your ability.

The positive side of discomfort

How can you expect changes in your life if you keep doing the same things? The comfort zone is more than an option, it’sa private complex, a vicious circle in which we self-deceive ourselves about the chances of being where we really want to be, for fear of facing the changes that are necessary for it. It’s not easy to risk changing, especially when the changes are drastic and deep, but the bigger the jump you want to make, the greater the momentum you must have.
Effective people are not afraid to take risks, because they have risked before, and although they have not always gotten what they wanted, they have learned that in the times when this happened, it was very worth fighting and believing. If the reason you take chances really moves you with all your soul, it doesn’t matter to lose 99 times, if in the hundredth time you know you will succeed. No effort is ever in vain, when the motives are pure and true. Change is part of life, of the cycle of evolution of each person.
As we take a risks, we become more open to the challenges that life brings and we realize that our projects are more likely to succeed when they are right for us.

Everything can work out

A bit of "carelessness" lead us to realize that life, above all else, is a gamble. This doesn’t mean that we should be at the mercy of statistics which, at first glance, seem to be one of those little critters that cling to us and stand there mulling over our possibilities. Of course, when we talk about taking risks – whether to learn to ride a bicycle or to give up that boring job – we invariably think about the chances of something going well or not. And within the margin of error, it’s easy to bet that our dreams are unlikely and that things will go wrong.
There is no recipe to be happy. And life also doesn’t allow shortcuts. Each day is unique: it’s up to us to have the courage to build our path (not the one full of yellow bricks), which point us towards financial stability, social prestige, suits and ties. Because if we don’t get to live our dreams, we will end up living the lives of others. And then, the only risk we have is to spend our days disappointed because we have not been able to fit in with the expectations that were proposed to us. How many times have we met a person who has an ideal life situation, a good job, a beautiful family, a stable financial situation and is unsatisfied, depressed, unhappy?

Give yourself time to (re) start

Every time we take a step, our whole world gets out of the way. Maybe that's why it's so hard to start (or restart) anything.

Life is a risk

I'm being optimistic about this risk-taking thing, I know. And I also understand that sometimes when you take risks, you can get hurt. But as much as you may be certain of your happiness, comfortable in your chair as you read these words, it may be that in the next paragraph fate plays a part. Life transforms quickly. It changes in an instant. You sit down to dinner and that life you knew just suddenly ends.

The much sought purpose

According to the dictionary, the word purpose means:
"Great willingness to achieve and/or achieve something; Purpose: this is my purpose in life".
When we look at what this word brings as meaning, it seems to be something simple, clear and easy to discover. However, what we see most are people who live in anguish in the search for the famous PURPOSE OF LIFE.
What is the problem? I believe that the hectic lifestyle, the bombardment of information we receive daily, and the ultra-connectivity make us disconnected from the most important person in the pursuit of purpose: our inner self.
I'm sorry, the meeting of purpose will not happen in with the blink of an eye.
For those who live in the anguish of still not having found a clear answer, you are not alone!
The meeting of purpose must be a journey! Accept questions and doubts, experiment, research different subjects and learn more about yourself! PERMIT YOURSELF.

Where to begin?

There is no single recipe, but infinite possibilities.
Perhaps we can first recognize in work a great source of satisfaction of needs not only of deficiencies (of what is lacking), but also of growth.
Then we can get answers to the questions that will set the course of our boat, as long as you commit to it. Some examples of these questions:
  • When was the last time you did something that you were very proud of?
  • What would you do even if it was for free? Make a list of everything you think you do very well and what your friends also say you do well. If you want, you can ask the opinion of people who live with you. Often, we do something so well that we go out on the automatic and we don’t even realize our gift/talent;
  • If you could help people, who would you help? Why?
  • Which noble cause most touches your heart?
  • What is your secret dream?
  • What would be the dream job for you?
  • As a child, what were your dreams?

Then we can answer:

What kind of work, performance, area, position and company can enable me to materialize all this?
This expansion of consciousness, together with protagonism (where I take responsibility for the reality that I create in my world), are the perfect conditions for the transformation to take place.
We are fantastic beings and we have unlimited potential for fulfillment. This potential lies dormant waiting for the definition of a clear goal, to mobilize it and set it in motion, in a step-by-step growth process that may be short, medium or long term.

A toast to friends who remain

It seems that most of us have forgotten to have a purpose. We just got into a hamster wheel and started running, running and running. Some try to raise money to buy a house and spend a lot of years paying for it. Others want a top-of-the-line car or cell phone. There are people who just want to be able to pay for their studies. There are people who work to be able to eat. Others bump their heads saying that they prefer to live, travel, see the world and break up into lots to work around and fulfill the dream of filling the space with new experiences. There are people who spend their lives saving money and don’t know what for. Everyone has their way of life and I'm not here to say what's right or wrong, what's easy or difficult, who has better opportunities or not.
I'm just saying it's worth taking the risk. Wondering if the life we lead is what we want. If we want to meet new people and have new experiences. The first step is the most difficult, but it is also the most important and unforgettable.